After my recent break up, I had a hard time trying to forget my ex (perhaps, you are also having a tough time trying to forget your ex). Initially, it was difficult even to just wake up and roll out of bed in the morning. When I finally managed to drag myself to go to work, I left the car radio off, because every song seemed like painful reminder of him. It didn’t stop there, I couldn’t bear to eat at the same restaurants we went together, I couldn’t …. The endless list continues…
They say that time heals all wounds but all it’s done so far is give me more time to think about how much I miss you.~Elizabeth Wilder
Yes, the first few days after a break up, you will be able to relate to Elizabeth Wilder feelings! However, eventually, you will forget your ex but.. YOU NEED TO MAKE AN EFFORT ON YOUR PART to make it happen.
Here are some of the important things that you must bear in mind to be able to forget your ex and move on easily.
1. Accept that the relationship is over
You will never be able to move on after a break up if you still cling to the possibility of getting back with your ex. Don’t dwell too much on the past and learn to accept that it’s over. You forget your ex if you are in the proper frame of mind. Focus on what you can do to become a better person without your ex by your side.
2. Refrain from reliving moments
If there was a special place you went together, you had a special song or anything else that will trigger happier moments, AVOID it. This is one of the most important steps in trying to erase those memories of your ex.
3. Get rid of the mementos
Photos, gifts and other mementos are reminders of the time you spent as a couple. Keeping photos of your ex all around the house will just cause you to pine away for them. It will prolong your efforts to forget your ex and may cause you to regret the breakup. Do yourself a favor and put them away.
4. Change Your Surroundings
I understand that there is a limit to which you can change your surroundings. But there are simple things like rearranging your room, getting new bed sheets, putting up a new painting or poster you can do. This will help you feel like you are moving forward and moving on.
Also, a temporary change of scenery was also effective. I took a couple of days leave from work, and went to my sister’s for a short stay.
5. Delete your ex’s number from your phone.
You won’t be able to forget your ex, as long as you keep in touch with your ex. Try to avoid contact with your ex, at least the initial few weeks following the break up. So, delete the phone numbers, and other online traces of your ex and make a clean break.
If you are finding it difficult to stay of the phone read my previous post Resist The Urge To Call Your Ex
6. Keep yourself occupied
If your mind is idle, it could lead you to unwanted images or feelings. So it is important to keep yourself busy when you are trying to forget your ex. Try physical activities, some sport, go to the gym, go swimming, go jogging, just walk or do something that you enjoy, but couldn’t do when your ex was around! Here are more ideas to on ways to keep you busy after a break up.
Any ideas you can contribute to forget your ex?
10 years on and I still dream about him. I’ve tried to move on but I’m angry. Maybe I’m naive but I honestly believed he was the one. It’s something I can’t seem to let go of. He ruined my life, helped turn me into a drug addict. And even after every horrible gut wrenching thing he did. I still don’t get why. I just want the dreams to end. I’m so tired of wasting my time thinking about him. I barely ever use his name. Which is Dan. Ugh. If there was one thing I could have in this world it would be to forget everything. It’s just to painful remembering. Thanks.
My husband has abandon me and the kids for the the past 8months now, and refuse to come back because he was hold on by a woman whom he just met, for that, my self and the kids has been suffering and it has been heel of a struggle, but I decide to do all means to make sure that my family come together as it use to, then I went online there I saw so many good talk about this spell caster whose website is [email protected] so I had to contact him and in just 5days as he has promised, my husband came home and his behavior was back to the man i got married to. I cant thank the spell caster enough what what he did for me, i am so grateful.
Thank you for this post, my Girlfriend(now ex) dumped me via txt without even trying to meet up and talk it out, she gave me no more chances, no more time to take back my mistakes. This post gave me a bit of guidance, thank you
hi. first of all, reading some of these posts helped a little bit. my break up seemed like the worst of all. we were inseparable wen we got together, so close and entwined tht we used each others tooth brush and rags etc. u never saw a relationship like this b4. he knew everything and i did too. we had each other alone for over a year. the plan was to go to the usa for the summer togeher to work so we cud save together and get a car. as it turned out i didnt get to go, but he did. i was the one tht paid his fees, found his job, found his housing and introduced him to my friends so wen he went he had company. the last month of his stay he began acting funny. and wen he came bk home he was treating me differently, so i questioned it and he told me he wanted his freedom. i was so hurt, but agreed anyway. after 2 days of breaking up we had sex. im sort of a nympho so i had decided to go with him as i dont wanna look like a ho and have sex with a stranger. then he tells me he still wants us to be close and what not and he still wants us to have sex as well. i cudnt deal so i sed no we have to end it period, but it didnt, i was bk at his house like 3 days after where we did the same things we used to wen we were together….. i dont get it. i think he sorta wanted a friends with benefits thing. i cant give him that, im hurt like crazy. but i really was trying to b his friend, yesterday he asked me for an album so i sed he shud give me his email account so i cud add it to his skydrive. i got it and i saw that in the months he was in the usa he found a girl tht i saw he was kissing and having s billion photos of them going out etc, plus nude pics (prolly of her) and i was soooo shook up, cuz i thought he was faithful like i was to him, but it turns out he was a dog like the rest. i told him its better we just end it all and move on, and he agreed. i wanna forget him and move on but its so hard. i lost friends over him and i gave more than i even had to him, i wud have sacrificed myself for him at a point in my life, tht was how much i loved this boy. i recently sent him a text tho i kno i shouldnt have explaining all my feelings in one go, he hasnt replied. the girl i saw in the foto maybe wasnt even a summer fling, there is a possibility that she lives here in this country and was out for the summer too. so maybe he will start a life with her, which will hurt if i dont get over him…. sigh, i need to forget all abt him but its so hard, i think i need help and fast. i havent eaten for a while now and i kno its cuz of this predicament… if any1 can help me, plz link me on facebook. i desperately need it i dont wanna go crazy. my fb name is yhonique sharpe
By boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. We have known eachother for 8 years and been together almost 5 years, and started dating when I was 17. We have lived together 4 of those 5 years and bought our first house together about 2 years ago. Everything was amazing, we lived the marriage lifestyle even though we arent married. Lately we havent gotten to see each other much because he works 60 hour weeks and I work 40 hour weeks. We took a vacation to Hawaii about a month ago and it was amazing to forget about work and life and enjoy being together. Yesterday he was acting strange and when we talked about it he told me that he loves me and I’m amazing but he doesn’t know if he wants to spend the rest of his life with me because our lifestyles don’t fit together and I’m not marriage material. I don’t understand, we have almost all the same hobbies and what we don’t like doing together we do with friends, we fit together great, we want the same things out of life and our goals are in line with each other. He just turned 25 and he has been looking at it as almost a mid life crises, he feels like he should have more accomplished by 25.. I don’t understand what more he wants?? He has a fully paid off house, 2 paid off cars, a plane (he flies for a hobby) and a very well paying stable job. He has never been a partier and prefers to do things like go rock crawling with his jeep. At 25 he has more than most men have when their 35. What is missing?? I am trying to follow your advice but it may be too early, I just don’t know what to do.. I can’t even begin to imagine life without him..
I’m forgetting you miss A, you broke my heart, and it will remain there as a deep scar. I just hope we won’t contct each other anymore.but the one who comeback is you. You just like a bug to me. Please go away. Letmyself free from you. I hate you,but I love you. But, the reality is. You’re not with me anymore, and you will never be. Don’t asked anything, money, question to me. It just make it worsed. Goodbye beautiful, hopes you’ll be find someone better then me. Love - kent.
I was crazy in love with my ex boyfriend, we were really close and we both lost our virginity together. He always told me how much he loved me, but today when I called him, I just felt like I was being played for all the time we were together. he was the sweetest lil thing ever, he was like a part of me and I haven’t felt like this for a long time.. I just thought he felt the same also. We broke up so many times but we were actually fighting so the relationship could work. But this time, it was so definite.. he told me to lose his number, he told me to forget about him, and the worst part is that he told me I just have to think positively so i can forget about him…How can he expect me to be fine while he was the reason why I could woke up every morning and feel good about myself… I’m trying to move on but it’s hard knowing that the person you saw your whole life with will not continue this dream with you…I’m just trying to forgive and forget…
I know how you feel. Me too, I am still doing my best to move on. We just broke up w/ my 2 yr boyfriend bec of another girl. Just make yourself busy and give your heart a break. It really takes time to ease the pain, it is to painful. Cry if you are feeling hurt. Put into your mind that we don’t deserve those kinds of men, someone better will come.
It is really hard but you have to help yourself, try not to get in touch with him, just move on. I know you can “,)
My girlfriend left me via text while I was 400 miles away. Decided my best friend of 20 yrs was more her type. She found out he wasn’t asked to get back with me, we made plans to, but after she supposedly left him, says we shouldn’t talk for a while so we can both get over everything. Problem is, she still has contact with the jerk! Been in no contact since last Friday, I have OCD and it’s just killing me. it’s impossible for me to NOT think about this chick! I am so angry and hurt!
its been days..i’ve been having sleepless nights.. i cant eat..i cant have focus on everything.. i was left clueless. helpless.. i was at work..i was working as a secretary.. i was on a meeting and i take down minutes which i cant attend to my boyfriend who is calling and texting me the whole time..he was over thinking.. he was thinking about me not working but instead having fun.. i swear to god i was working.. he never trust me.. i swear to god how much i love him.. he is full of insecurities.. he always think of me as a liar..but im not..my boyfriend dont answer my text messages anymore.. he preferred to listen to what is in his mind.. all the negative things in his mind.. its eating him..i cant blame him because he doesn’t have a job he just wait for me always which he said he got tired of waiting..understanding me and waiting for me is killing him.. now he don’t want to talk to me.. i tried calling him many times but with no answers.. we got a lot of plans.. and everything seems to fade..i tried to reach out..i know he loves me.. but for what he did..its obviously being selfish..we just broke up for almost a week now.. i am still hoping but it seems like he hate me so much for reasons i didnt do.. i want to move and forget..im so hurting…
i was stoped with my boy friend its hurt to forget oll the memory with him as i know him for 1year and he is every thing to me he is 39 and im 23 but i will try to sort oll that out
I just broke up with the woman I had my dreams and life tied to. But there were just too many hurtful WTFs along the way. Not intentional, there were just very key areas that we were missing. 90% of our life was true love, but the 10% we were missing no matter how hard we tried we could not get past and continued to do hurtful things. I ended because I just couldn’t take one more day of wondering what the day would bring. Either sheer love or total pain. Of course now I am rethinking everything and even knowing a relationship fails because of both people, I keep thinking how I could have compromised or just accepted - KNOWING doing so would bring more pain and hurt. I am lost. I am sad. I need help….
What if you work with your ex? Every day I come to work I have to be reminded of it, and to make matter worse, his new girl works here too. So i have to see them together. Change of scenery would require me to get a new job!!
itss 2 hard 4 me to digest my felling and get back 4m dis
Im over 50 and my bf is over 60 .. we been dateing for 4 months .. 4 days week I stayed at his house . he was sick in middle of morning coughing I offered to help him he snapped . I rolled over and let out big sigh . he said why you sighing ?Something in me jumped up said im going home. ya just wont let me in . He’s is big time loveable man showed tons of pda telling me he loved me 20 times day .. asking me all time am I his baby? We had talk @!6:30am in living room I said you want me to go home? he said its up to you . then I caught my self packing . I asked again he finally said yes. we sat calmly he said he loved me but didn’t know if he was in love with me. I said you wont let me close to you . he said I cant let any one close I been hurt ( im a widow hes been divorced 2times) I said I love you he ssid I know you do .he said thank you for all you’ve done for me . stupid me I said don’t call me or text me. last time we had this convo he cried not to let me go . it was all to calm between us no im not calling him . we met each others family gone to church spent tons time together . we both said we were in for long haul. were to old to be doing this . I know he loves me . I seen it . this has effected me as much as my husbands death . my mom said he will call this is day 2
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I split with my fiancée of nearly 3yrs just four days ago. I have 4children(she’s not the mum) but she was the best mum ever to them. We spent everyday together and got together really quick. We had our ups and downs but who doesn’t? She was only 18 when we got together and I was 30 but that didn’t matter to us. Her parents kicked her out and she didn’t speak 2them at all. The last few months have been amazing and we have got on the best ever. On sat we had a stupid argument which resulted in her leaving going to her parents and taking every last thing of hers! I can’t seem 2function even though I have 4 children and the pain is unbearable I cry every min of the day. Please help me
A month since from my wife moved out and filed for a divorce.The 1st week I stayed in bed and cried . 32 years old and feel like a baby . Never thought I would have some much pain and hurt in my life . Every day I see and hear things that remind me of her. She has been emailing me about our daughter and every time I read the email I still think she loves me even though she straight up said it’s over. Every thing in life I Joyed I can’t even make myself do. Food has not taste ,money doesn’t mean anything ,can I get motivated to exercise, music gets me sad .after reading this I am going to throw away her clothes that I keep by my bed just to smell her . I have been seeing a counselor and also writing journals seem to help a little bit . I would give any thing to just feel normal .I am so worried once I see her her in court or I find out she’s dating another man it’s going to crush me. Never realize how much I loved her and how much she was part of my life until she was gone
Today I told my ex how I felt and I tried working things out and showing her we could possibly work this out and she replies with im glad I broke up wit you and I have no regrets those words continue to stab my heart each time I unintentionally listen to them. Weve been together for 3 years on and off, I just have a hard time letting go because the smallest things remind me of her. I don’t know how I am going to be able to move on when she is a big part of my life.
The thing is the movies and the kids both remind me of my ex. My new date shares these as well with the same taste so maybe I’m just torturing myself. He’s different from my ex and the exact opposite personality wise but has the same taste in romantic movies like stardust and having a heart for the kids and me. That is still part of my job-teaching kids and assisting and helping elderly and broken families and the underdog so to speak. My ex and I have just recently started dating since new year this year, but nothing has replaced my heart for my ex when we were together for seven years. I feel like I threw it all away though there were good and bad times. Everyone in my new country- my mom’s hometown in Asia reminds me of my ex with the people here. I’m a mixed child Thai and American. But, at the same time, I know that they aren’t him despite how much they look, sound, and act like him especially with some of the people that I work with. So, I don’t think its closure, I’ve already gotten that from him and everyone around him and associated with him. I just have rare moments where our song or our movie comes on, but like I said the same is true of my ex and my date despite their different personalities. Is there a way I can differentiate since both have the meaning of love and the same life situation and life circumstances around them? It’s been four years since we broke up from a seven year long distance relationship and seven days since I started my new one with my date on New Years day. I’m still in the getting to know him stage so it may be a while till it reaches love, but we are more of a match than my ex and I were.